


Barney finds a friend

by screamingsting



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Barney is gay for Gordon but is blind to it, Black Mesa (Half-Life), Chumtoads, M/M, Might add more chapters later, Not Beta Read, Pre-Canon, Selectively Mute Gordon Freeman, Slow Burn, Tags to be added as needed, can you tell im bad at tags?, chumtoad antics, fellas is it gay to discover aliens with your bro?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29597154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamingsting/pseuds/screamingsting
Summary: On a late shift Barney meets a very strange creature in the lower labs of Black Mesa, fortunately for him (and unfortunately for his co-worker) he just had to show someone his new pet.
Relationships: Barney Calhoun & Gordon Freeman, Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really like Chumtoads... and I really love Barney... So this was bound to come one of these days. I might write more to this because I really love this idea but I'm a little nervous to start another multi chapter fic but if I find the time or something and if people like it I'll try and make it one :) which is why I'm leaving it open for more chapters!

Barney always liked animals, had always wanted one of his own. Unfortunately the place he worked at didn't allow pets in their on site living dorms. Black Mesa never was the peak in employee welfare, but it paid well and had on site dorms so that was good enough for Calhoun. Sure he couldn’t paint his dorm, those ugly beige walls would never be changed, but that was a standard in most rental apartments in his early job hunting days back in University. Now he wasn't proud of dropping out, he didn’t have much of a choice in that matter, broke and jobless only to be kicked out of his shitty tiny apartment, but that was life for him unfortunately. And he didn’t think twice before signing his contract at Black Mesa the day he saw an ad for it in the papers. He expected he would be a janitor, simple job, the advert didn’t exactly specify what he would be applying to per say; if anything he would have been lucky he wasn’t signing up to be some human lab rat. Instead they saw his high school track team record and put him in as a security guard. 

Training was hell, but he supposed it was better than anything. He had heard that it was almost if not just as harsh as military training, but he highly doubted that anything in some dingy old science facility could warrant that sort of training let alone the kind he did have to go through. It was a place filled with old stuck up men and only a few of the other security guards were around his age anyway, so there was no point really in making friends. That didn’t stop him from trying. 

You could say he was lucky, that someone like Dr Freeman, a strapping young scientist only a few years older than him, had joined the Science Department. But Barney would say he was even luckier to be his friend. Gordon didn’t talk much but the guard didn’t mind one bit and never pushed to ask if he even could talk, he knew sign language and ASL just fine. He could admit that Gordon was charming and handsome, in a friendly coworker sort of way that would save his career. What he wasn’t lucky in was his job shifts.

Most of the time they were inside, which was fine and dandy for sure, but ultimately boring. The most excitement he got was a scientist getting locked in or out of a room, the occasional vent races with Gordon, or even when he would bump into him and have a quick chat or joke around before getting back to his patrols. Nighttime shifts were lonely and predictable, but he found company once again with Freeman, who would stay late to finish whatever it is a Theoretical Physicist does in a place like this. 

This time it was different, on one of his many long patrols at night a strange flash emitted from one of the dark rooms and a crash could be heard inside. Hand to his gun, he slowly entered the room with his flashlight held in front of him, carefully keeping an eye out for something to jump out at him. What he expected to jump out at him and what really did was far from the same, a small little toad like creature made an ear piercing squeal and lunged out at him from a broken canister on one of the tables, before hitting him and disappearing and a zap of purple energy. 

Barney gasped and jumped back, pulling out his gun, slowly scanning the room for... whatever the hell it was that jumped out at him. Something hit a metal object, knocking it over as well as many bottles. Leaning down and to the side he looked under the shelf where the sounds came from only to be met with a single bright glowing red eye, that strange squeal of a noise knocked down to a hiss. Ok so it wasn’t an intruder trying to steal something, just an escaped creature. He could handle that.

“Easy there lil fella.. I won’t harm y’a.” Barney spoke softly, putting his gun back in its holster

The creature paused as he reached out for it, open palmed in an offer to pick it up. Curiously it examined the hand before looking up at him and climbing on. Barney smiled, pulling it close as he stood and gently shone his flashlight over it to get a better look. It was, definitely something from a science experiment, probably. Dark purple leathery yet slimy skin, strange spines that seemed to move on their own accord, and it’s large red eye in the center of its face. But it seemed harmless enough for such a small thing.

“Well aren’t you a interesting little thing huh?” The creature burbled in response and licked its eye much like a gecko would, making the guard laugh, “Cute too. What are y’a some mutated toad?”

Of course, it didn’t respond, animals can’t actually talk, but it did look at him as if waiting for something to happen.

“Well, can’t exactly leave you here...” he looked around, thinking about what to do before making a rash and probably stupid decision, “How bout you come home with me hm?”

The strange toad wiggled a bit, not really understanding what was said but clearly enjoying the attention. Taking that as a yes, Barney grinned and strode out of the room, toad in hand, and made his way over to where Gordon was stationed that night. The man in question, hunched over his desk and most likely asleep on the job, the sight made him chuckle. Gently he shook the scientist's shoulder to wake him, hoping not to startle the poor man.

"Hey, Gordon, I know that ain't comfortable. Come on, I wanna show ya somethin!"

A pair of emerald eyes slowly opened, exhaustion clear on his face as Freeman blinked away the sleep in his eyes as his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Barney?" his movements were slow, hands a bit hard to read, but still easy to understand

"The one and only!" Barney grinned, "I would have thought ya had gone home by now, it's almost 9pm!"

Gordon shook his head, "Work ran late," he paused and felt for his glasses before putting them back on his face. "Need something?"

Barney grinned and practically shoved the purple toad in the other's face, "Look!"

"Where did you get that?" His eyes widened as he looked at the strange creature

"Found em, ain't he cute?"

A small and quiet laugh rose from the scientist, "That's one way to put it. What is it?"

Looking over the purple creature he shrugged, "Dunno, he was in the labs. Probably some kinda escaped experiment."

"Not that I've met," at Barney's raised eyebrow he shook his head, "I don't normally work in that department, but… it looks alien."

"You're kiddin? Aliens? Their real? Not bullshitin me??"

Gordon shrugged, "Apparently."

Wow, just… wow. Aliens were real, and he was holding one. "Know anythin bout it?"

He shook his head, "Never seen anything like it. You might have found the first of its kind."

"Really? You think so?" Barney's eyes widened with a childish sparkle to them

"Yeah man! Probably! You should give it a name."

The grin he got in response filled Freeman with instant regret.

"I'm gonna name it something dumb."

"Barney no."

"I'm gonna name him-"

"Don't you dare."

"Carl."

Gordon stared at him for a moment before bursting out into laughter, shoulders shaking as he tried to keep his hands steady, "I meant its species not give it a pet name dumbass!"

"Oh." Calhoun's face of recognition just made Gordon crack up harder, "Well, in that case! Chumtoad. Cause, see it looks like a frog, but it's fat!"

All he got in response was Gordon's breathy laughter and a "fuck you" signed his way.

"You wanna help me get him home?"

This seemed to bring the other out of his hysterics, "You're taking him home? What about the code?"

Barney shrugged, "I could always keep em in a box in my locker."

Gordon narrowed his eyes in a silent scoff.

"Then help me get him home Mr Animal Lover!"

Rolling his eyes he stood, "Fine, but if you get caught you're on your own."

"Deal."


	2. Home for a Toad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl the Chumtoad causes chaos and Barney starts feeling gay things for Gordon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More chumtoads? More chumtoads. I couldn’t not write more of this- I just couldn’t. I’ve decided this will become not just a fic about Chumtoads but will also go into like- more things- I won’t go into it because I have plans and I will not spoil them >:)

Gordon was not sure what he expected when it came to Barney and his dorm, or if the security guard had even the things one would need for an alien toad. Unsurprisingly he had not. The dorm was smaller than his own, a tiny kitchen that you first walked into that connected to a bathroom only to lead out into a tiny living room and a tiny bedroom off to the side. Gordon tapped on Barney’s shoulder to get his attention.

“This place is tiny.”

“Yeah! Ain’t yours?”

Gordon shook his head, “No, at least not this small.”

“Well, welcome to my place then Gord! Make yourself at home while I find a thing to put Carl into.” Barney grinned at the other

“Do you not have a tank?”

He paused and looked at him quizzically, Gordon ran a hand over his face with a sigh.

“Dammit Barney you need a tank for any amphibian or insect or fish, it’s how they survive in captivity.”

“Oh…”

Gordon shook his head and signed quickly, “Wait here.”

And with that he left the guard alone in his dorm, making the poor guy more confused than ever. The creature in question burbled and wiggled out of his arms, jumping around and exploring the new environment much to Barney's displeasure. He ran after the toad, barely avoiding bumping into furniture that would most definitely leave bruises in the morning. 

Trying to grab it as it jumped in the air, his face dropped as the alien teleported somewhere in a puff of purple and pink partials, fear coursing through him. Calhoun's panic grew as he realized that Carl could have gone anywhere in the dorms- maybe even someone else’s. The sound of someone knocking on his door made his heart leap into his chest.

Someone saw his alien frog and is coming to report him, he knew it. But then logic came through the panic and reasoned that no, no one could have been able to connect the alien to him. Besides Gordon, but he knew the doc wasn’t like that and wouldn’t tell, he said so himself. Shaking his head he went to open the front door, secretly hoping the toad wouldn’t just manifest in front of him and run out. 

Gordon smiled at him from the doorway holding a large tank and a bag hanging from his arm, Barney let a sigh of relief out and stepped out of the way for his friend to come inside.

“Man Gordon, scared the shit outta me! Thought someone found out bout Carl!” At Gordon’s quiet snicker he continued to talk, “Maybe I should get y’a your own key to the place!”

They stared at each other for a moment as Barney quickly realized the joke did not land as a joke to the scientist next to him, his face faintly heating up. Gordon let a small bewildered smile and a small laugh out as he shook his head, Carefully setting down the items he was holding let him free up his hands to respond.

“Do you not have a roommate?”

“Dude if I had a roommate I wouldn’t have brought an alien into my dorm room.” Barney gave him a equally bewildered yet more joking smile

Shaking his head he picked up the bag once more and hesitantly went to pick up the tank before stopping and looking at him once again.

“Where should I put this?”

Blinking for a moment Calhoun realized what he was asking and started walking into his bedroom, “Uh bedroom I guess? We can put it on the dresser.”

Gordon nodded and picked up the tank again and followed the guard into his room, setting it back down on top of a dark oak dresser. 

“Where’s Carl?”

“Uh… about tha-“ 

Before he could finish the toad in question teleported on top of his head and let out a happy squeal. Both men froze for a moment before bursting out into laughter, Barney gently picking up Carl and holding him gently in his hands.

“Alright well now we got the little guy! What’s next?”

Pulling out the items in the bag, Gordon set out some bags of sand, some large rocks, and what looked like some dish that was disguised as a rock. At Barney’s confused look Gordon just smiled.

“I used to have a lizard, sure Carl’s an alien but it can’t hurt to give it a somewhat natural place to live.”

He nodded and watched Gordon’s slim hands set up the tank for his little alien roommate, ignoring the tight feeling he got in his chest as he silently memorized how the scientist's hands moved. His own hands were larger and sturdier than the others, he wondered idly how Gordons hands would feel in his own. 

He jolted slightly at his own thoughts, where the hell did that come from? Don’t think about things like that, completely unprofessional. As if letting your coworker into your dorm to set up a reptile tank for your contrabanned alien pet was professional?

Gordon glanced at him, noticing the small jump from the other man before returning his attention on the tank, carefully placing one of the large rocks in the sand. Holding out his hand he motioned for the frog to be placed in his own. Barney chose to ignore how his fingers brushed against Gordons and the tingle that it left behind on his fingertips. 

Carl stared at the scientist curiously, tilting its head as it was placed in the tank, the top slowly closing. Gordon smiled and leaned back, looking over at Barney with his hands on his hips.

“It should be fine in there. If not then we’ll figure it out.”

Barney raised his eyebrow, “We will?”

He grinned, “Yeah! If you think I’ll let you keep this guy from me when I’m over then your dead wrong.”

The guard laughed, shaking his head, “Guess I should get y’a a key if you're plannin’ on randomly visiting your best friend Carl!”

Gordon laughed, “Yeah, no more best friend Barney, only the Chumtoad.”

Barney at that moment realized that not only did laughing so hard that you need to lean on your also laughing friend feel nice to do, but that it made the tightness in his chest come back even worse, and he didn’t really want that moment to end.


End file.
